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No matter how deep your feelings for him are, you can be back
to normal in less than 2 months if you take these steps..
by -*- Tracy Cabot -*-
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The hardest part of recovery for Sheila was taking the first step. She 
had developed a bad habit of calling her ex crying and begging. All that 
did was make him want to get further away from her, and left her feeling 
even more rejected. For a while , I asked her to call my office, instead of her 
ex, when she couldn't control her urge. Soon, the urge to call went away.

Here's the step-by step plan Sheila followed that made her feel better
faster than she had believed possible .. Give it a try , if you've just
been ditched / heartbroken .

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Step 1 - Make a Clean Break
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Stop seeing your ex. Period. The only way to recover is to go
"cold turkey". If you keep seeing him, you're like a drug addict 
begging for " just one more" hit. Don't "just be friends". Each time you get
close enough to your ex to get the good parts of what you once had, 
you'll get the bad parts too. 

A clean break isn't possibleif your home or apartment's filled with 
things that remind you of him. So, take any clothes he left, momentos that 
remind you of him, pictures of him or both of you together, the CD's he gave you 
and throw them in a box and put it away.

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STEP 2  - STOP PLAYING THE SAME RADIO
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music has a particular way of stirring up your emotions - and
causing instant pain. So, reprogramme the radio button or his station
for to anything else, and change stations immediately if a sad song 
comes on. Try not to revisit your favourite haunts for a while, and avoid any 
of the places you went with him. Also, stay away from friends of your ex.

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step 3 - Slam-dunk your need to call him
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You probably want to call him a dozen times a day, to hear his voice 
and to tell him anything.To gain control over this self-destructive impluse;
keep a notebook with you, and whenever you get the urge to call him,
write down whenever you think you want to tell him instead. By using 
this notebook, you'll stop obsessing and the thoughts will diminish.

Talking about your ex with others is almost as bad as talking to him. 
Don't induldge in long, commiserating chats with friends. Just say " I prefer
not to talk about it," and that should close the subject with most 
people.

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Step 4 - Give him bad rap on his "Crime Sheet"
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Whe you break up, you often forget the bad times and yearn for the good 
ones. So, before you forget, write down every nasty , mean thing he ever did.
Document the  lies you decided to overlook , the time he embarassed you 
in front of people , the rude way he acted towards your mother , the 
passes he made at your friends , the time you were sick and he didn't  come to 
your side or the time hetotally forgot your birthday, etc. The Crime Sheet will 
help you resurrect and redirect your buried anger - and lift your depression.

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Step 5 - Write one last love letter
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After three weeks or so of total non-communication with your ex, you'll 
surely have a lot of things you want to say to him. They could be poetic 
reminders of all that was right about your relationship, with an apeal to try again, 
or they could be just a long recital of what he did wrong. Whatever it is, 
write it in a letter to him - but don't mail it . Put it away. Just writing 
it will make you feel better.

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Step 6 - Banish thoughts of him - in a snap
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Despite everything youv'e done so far - the notebook, letter, etc - 
you'll still keep thinking, "If only I could get him back, everything would be
alrught this time." Or, "I just wish I could see him one more time. os 
"I just wish I could see him one more time "

Stop these thoughts by wrapping a rubber band. Slowly, but surely 
you'll coondition yourself so the thoughts will stop by themselves as soon as 
they start.

.. to be continued ....